Letting It Roll

Something I have learned in my four mischievous years of college is that sometimes you just gotta roll with the grind, just let it roll. That being said I never said that I was good at it, i'm really not. In fact I pretty much suck at letting things roll off my back. Lately I feel like I have done a really good job though, and like most insecure women I am announcing it inorder to feel the satisfaction I feel like I deserve.

Things have been really good with TSwift and I, leaving out the details we have been working through our problems one at a time and it feels good. Yes for all of you innocent readers I just made a sex analogy. Really though I am feeling confident in everything that is happening in my life and my path seems to be set, like always I am waiting for a bump but until then, well I am just enjoying the ride.

In other life happenings a couple of guys from my past have been lurking in the depths of my text message archives. I enjoy talking to them mainly because they are so clueless, and second because two of them are determined to set me straight literally. One of them, The Boy Next Door is a sweet heart to me at least though I feel bad for his girlfriend because the things he says to me are slightly risque. The other one Blue Eyed Sexy Time or BEST is as always ridiculously asking for a three some and other preverse things he thinks he can pull over because I have a girlfriend.

Newsflash boys just because I have a girl at my disposal does not mean I am about to give her to you too, work for that shit.

Oh and the Dolphins lost again it's really starting to hurt my ego. A is moving this week as well, sad to see her go but more confident in our friendship then ever that she won't be gone for long. Gosh is this Post dragging or what; sorry I have nothing to write about, like I said just letting things roll. To finish up let me show you all some pictures of my newest adventure, I went to NYC!

I took this picture and let me say they were the cutest couple ever.

The Unmentioned

So there is this girl, a wonderful girl who entered my life less then a year ago. She is different, not half as perfect as perceived but just as great to me. She has a life in the spot light that has never quite allowed me to sincerely blog about her. Today during one of our most honest conversations we have ever had though she told me to do it, write about it and her.

I have always called her my Kate Middleton, more informally Kate call it an inside joke between the two of us. We met in a bad situation that has since resolved itself but created a newer bigger issue. Kate has had my back through a lot and I pride myself by calling her my realest friend. The one that gives it to me straight; no bullshit, nothing held back, in your face let's deal with it. Back to the issue though; it's messy.

I can't say that I don't deserve some of this karma coming because I would be a liar if I denied it, but through this hard time Kate has proven me wrong on several occasions especially today. No one has picked me the way she has, don't take this in a romantic way but today she did and said she wouldn't drop me the way that has been so easy in the past for so many others.

Frankly it's pretty sticky, an old friend and an ex-friend at that is now friends with her as well. She however isn't as classy as most and is one of those people who opts to storm off and make a scene rather then just be civil, coexist, suck it up, and for christ sake act like oh I don't know an adult. However Kate is stuck in the middle, I feel bad for her sincerely and I hope she doesn't get tired of the juggling but none the less said she can handle it and that our friendship is worth it.

Maybe it's me growing up, maybe it's just lessons learned, maybe I am just figuring it out but in the shadow of a terrible day and last years horrible memories I can honestly say she was a gift to me. Probably the only good thing that amounted from the disaster I turned my life into last year, yeah that's a fact. So my unmentioned is Kate she is a great friend, I really hope this turns into a permanent friendship because I think this time I am choosing right.

I Hate.. You

You my friend, are a liar. Have you kept track of everything you have lied about, probably not but I remember. New friends are fun for a few months but I don't forget all the shit you said about her, when her life spiraled. Good luck in the future because I will be as fake to you as you are to everyone else. I hope you genuinely get hit with a hard dose of karma, legit get ready.

I hate liars. I hate them with a burning passion. Be upfront and straight or don't be anything. Stand up for what's right but don't intentionally start a fight. I am pissed, beyond pissed I am disappointed. Good luck in the future; you will soon figure out it's you I am talking to. You aren't even worth a phone call to let you know. I hope our friendship falls apart in the same way your life has and will. Get your shit together, I told you once I wont be fucked over again, so before you do I'm out.

Have a good life.

Life According to Beverly Hills

I don't go into my silly rituals that make up my life often but I do have one compulsion I would like to share with you today, every weekend on SOAP net they rerun episodes of my favorite TV Beverly Hills 90210. I will be honest and say I could bear watch the new version on the CW so there is nothing comparative in this post (I don't review- never have, never will).

Okay so 90210 if you haven't watched it you should know it was one of the most scandalous things on nineties television, now it is weak in comparison to the things I watch. Nonetheless it does teach me things every episode, these crazy kids with the world at their hands always go back to the same morals love, family, and friendship. Is it totally lame to most probably, but even now I am sitting here enthralled with how the world was so much simpler then.

Friended

New friends are legit something this chubbie chick cannot live with out. Over the past few weeks I have become re-acquainted with a person I previously judged for something I shouldn't have. My biggest lessons learned always come from assumptions I make, sometimes my gut is right, sometimes it is extremely wrong.

Enter TSwift's bro, her right hand guy (gal), otherwise known to this blog as The Blue Eyed Wonder- careful homos she's taken by another returner into the lesbian circle of my college she however, is still on the judgement platform. Anyway blue Eyed Wonder has done so much for TSwift and my relationship seriously I can not thank her enough for supporting our friendship and backing up TSwift in every way possible (except the sexual one). 

So high five Blue Eyed Wonder, thanks for giving me a second chance as well :) 

But You Say I'm Just a Friend [PART 2]

So part 1, which I totally recommend you reading first went off like a gun (BANG) I'm thinking we should dive in further how many types of friends are really out there? Here we go.

P.S - Click here for Part 1 (:

Introducing:

The Gossipping Friend: This is the person who legit talks to you for the dirt, whether it's you or someone you know who they don't they need you to dish.


The Get Your Shit Together Friend: Don't call them until after you've grieved for a few days, this is the friend the busts through your self made cavern of self pity picks you up and pushes you out into the world again. You never like it but you know you need it.


The Goal Oriented Friend: Whether it's piles of homework, finals, or just a bug test you can count on them to motivate you and push you through the hurdles of studying. Almost like a library buddy but not as dorky.


The Musical Montage Friend: Does your play list need updating? Are you in need of some illegally purchased tuneage or movies? Don't look away we all do it and when we do normally we call this person.


The Drunken Dialer Friend: After a long night of keg stands or shots are your local watering hole, this person is your first call and text throughout the night. They live for your funny voice mails and will probably be the first to check on you at 8 am.


The Responsible Friend: Need a ride home, don't stumble through the ally and find some random guy. Seriously suck it up and call this person, they have offered a million times before.


The Reactive Friend: "I am so angry, what I did was stupid and irrational but still I AM ANGRY!" Need someone to take your side, maybe fuel your fire call this kid and watch the flames get bigger.


The Gym Friend: With bikini season looming we all are in search of this person, you browse by the gym daily and this person is always there, no one else has such a motivation buddying up to this person makes you go. Thank you six pack.


The Wing Man: We all have one whether it is your best friend, your lifer, or so random drinking buddy. We all need that one person who pushes us one step closer to that one night stand. If you're looking for good morals call someone else, if you're looking for a good time you know their number.


The Let Me Set You Up Friend: Miserable, tired of being single, don't feel like putting yourself out there? Call this friend they always have someone waiting in your make believe line, even if they pick their nose "it's not so bad.."!

That's what I have for now, the saddest part is I just write the names down of people I know and POOF, the list appears. If they actually new anything about who's who on said list I would not be walking.

Praying for my life ;) haha- Happy Thursday!

A Dose of the Truth

I am okay, surviving and trying to love the life I have been given. Going home for the past two days was a harsh dose of reality, in all honesty this whole week has been. Let me lay this out for you.

1. My brother (15) has something going on, bad. My mom says he could be suicidal.
2. My girlfriend's unresolved issues with her ex have been buzzing around my head since I called her on it, it's haunting me, the whole conversation.
3. Mom is burning out, hmm wonder why.
4. Step dad is truly getting tired of the shit, no more divorces.
5. Step Mommy Bitch Face should watch her step, she is treading lightly these days I am locked, loaded, and ready.
6. Daddy Dearest cut me off, "You're 21, in college basically you don't need money."
7. Gala is Friday, college prom. Fuck. Guess who doesn't have a table.
8. My other half is still in Texas, chances of me getting down there for graduation slim to none.
9. School work is building, 5 week freak out.
10. Summer is around the corner, should I be excited or scared.

All in all like I said, I am fine but stress is building. I really which I had more time right now to write all of this down. I am trying to blog daily and failing miserably. I promise not to leave you guys too long, seriously.

Still looking for that full body suit.

Rolling in the Deep

Without my best friend skies have been pretty grey lately, A calls weekly from bootcamp she loves it and sounds really good. Last night was my breaking point, I miss our daily motions through life if that makes sense. Having someone at your disposal daily is really refreshing and when that is taken it really sucks. I am becoming more depressed these days, working out gets me through some days others I just keep pushing through because that is what A would want. Having her back in a few weeks at least by phone will be so nice. I don't know why I broke down so badly last night, I am lonely and frankly it hurts more to know other then A everyone is here.

A dear friend told me yesterday that I am only as alone as I make myself, that's about half true. The way I see it I have two "lifers" in this world right now A who is in Texas and SC who has so many things going on, I feel guilty dumping my life on her shoulders.

My relationship with Ti is anything but stable these days, between work and school she is running out of steam quick, I want to help her but there is nothing I can do, not only is it frustrating but it stresses me out so much I can't sleep. Watching her life spiral out of control reminds me of the ever so familiar decent I took only 8 months ago. I feel myself loosing control slowly as well, I know I am being effed over by a certain someone, let's just save that for another day.

Life is tough, I own a helmet but I am in the market for a full body suit.

But You Say I'm Just a Friend

Friends-

Have you ever really looked into the different relationships you have with different friends, I was thinking about it this morning while I was recovering from a really drunk night. Here's what I have so far:

The Fake Friend: This is the person who legit calls themselves your friend but will literally talk about you behind your back for no reason, no matter how you treat them they are always fake.

The Friendly Friend: A step above the Fake Friend, this person will not normally talk behind your back, but still refers to you as a friend even though they wouldn't pick you up from McD's let alone a life crisis.

The Convenient Friend: This is the person who is there when you need them, but that's about it. They are good people and will ensure you always have something to do.

The Five Minute Friend: Great for about five minutes, then you can't stand them.

The Five Finger Friend: Take everything they need from you, "can I have this?" or "can I borrow that?"

The Flirty Friend: They really aren't your friend, they want more from you and are there to get you in trouble when you're drunk.

The Fighter Friend: The friend who always has your back when a fight is looming, they are there when you need them, and they love the drama.

The "Best" Friend: The friend who truly believes they are your best friend and maybe in that moment they are, but when life moves on so will they no hard feelings but they were so yesterday.

The Lifer: This is the person you can not live without the first one you call, and the one who always looks good next to you. This friend is not only your other half but your soul mate they'll be around forever.

What other kinds of friends do all of you have? What's on your mind in relation to friendship this week?

Tuesday Tunes

I just downloaded a whole list of music, in case you didn't know iTunes releases new music every Tuesday to their store. On the list today a whole bunch of new stuff, including Britney Spears's new album which I am already in love with!

Life is decent this week, I feel like more pieces are slowly coming together. Little by little I am finding myself more satisfied with the path I am on. Ti and I are really good, being away for Spring Break was a nice reminder that we have a lot of feelings for each other, even when we get sick of each other.

I heard from A on Saturday as well, I miss her a lot but she will be home in one month today! I can't wait, we have a lot of catching up to do. We even talked about getting an apartment together! I also made the leap over the past week to a Blackberry, they are the most addicting instruments EVER.

Well I guess that is all for now, here's the list!

Wiz Khalifa - No Sleep
Best Love Song - T-Pain
On the Floor - JLo
Look at Me Now - Chris Brown
I Need a Doctor - Dr Dre
Til the World Ends - B Spears
The Lazy Song - Bruno Mars
Next 2 U - Chris Brown

Happy Birthday Confessions!

Today is the day I can not believe it is finally here! My blog is a year old today, I have taken all morning thinking about the things that I have posted in the past and all that this blog has done for my life. So instead of a couple of pictures and silly little lessons I would like to share something very deep and close to my heart with all of my fabulous readers.

The first time I wrote in this blog I thought to myself, I hope maybe one person reads my blog one day and laughs a little or at least thinks I have something nice to say. I have always been fascinated by the impact people have on each other, it's always very different and sometimes very unpredictable. Looking back on that day I would have NEVER imagined I would have 55 followers or the amount of comments that have been coming in. 

This blog has become my one true love, sometimes there are just those things that can make you feel better when your stressed, or offer you an outlet, and just allow you to be somebody. Looking back knowing I have readers, I have become somebody. This blog has shown me who that is, I am beginning to love myself more now than ever before because I am good at it, finally no one can take that away from me.

All of this would not be possible without the frequent readers, occasional commenters, and always interesting passer byers. I am a someone and I promise I write from the heart always, I will never steer this blog in any other way. Writing my thoughts has proven to be some of the best therapy I have ever had as well, I learn something new every time I look into my archives. Not many people can look at something they have created with the same pride I look at my blog with.

So, Happy Birthday Confessions thanks for teaching me the skinny.

Oh Friendship

Where does one draw the line between a friend or less? Recently I am looking at a current friendship I have and am kind of wondering if it's a friendship at all. Honestly all I see are a lot of I wants and I needs on both of our parts. When do you draw a line and say enough is enough. I have learned a lot in the past year over quality friendships, people can be so fake these days. Have you ever really looked at and evaluated just one of your friendships, I think most would be surprised as to the foundations of the relationship and moreover how much a foundation can age. I hope everyone has the chance to have a lot of friends at one point or another, but as the saying goes quality over quanity.

Until then, i'm watching my all time favorite movie Somethings Gotta Give.

"This is really fascinating, what's going on at this table. Let's take you and Erica. You've been around the block a few times. What are you, around 60? 63. Fantastic! Never married, which as we know, if you were a woman, would be a curse. You'd be an old maid, a spinster. Blah, blah, blah. So instead of pitying you, they write an article about you. Celebrate your never marrying. You're elusive and ungetable, a real catch. Then, there's my gorgeous sister here. Look at her. She is so accomplished. Most successful female playwright since who? Lillian Hellmann? She's over 50, divorced, and she sits in night after night after night because available guys her age want something-forgive me, they want somebody that looks like Marin. The over-50 dating scene is geared towards men leaving older women out. And as a result, the women become more and more productive and therefore, more and more interesting. Which, in turn, makes them even less desirable because as we all know, men- especially older men- are threatened and afraid of productive, interesting women. It is just so clear! Single older women as a demographic are about as fucked a group as can ever exist." 

Aunt Zoe'

Perfection's Dirty Secret

Perfection's grass used to look so green to me, I wanted to be perfect in the worst possible way. I wanted the BEST grades, the hottest clothes, and the most rocking body. When my mom finally married and all of these things became at my disposal quickly; I could shop solely at A&E and A&F if I wanted, my friends always wanted to come hang out at my new house, and I got to workout with a trainer and slowly lost most of my chubbiness.

Then time moved on the clothes got old, shopping lost it's charm, I got bored with my new fake friends, and I was never skinny enough. Out of know Perfection hit me with a Mac Truck and told me a valuable secret, Perfection's dirty little secret was nothings perfect, and money won't buy you happiness.

Perfection was right, I never wanted to be perfect again. Now looking back I'm happier not perfect then I ever was when I was perfect. Because my rocking clothes fell apart, my great grades take a lot of work, and being fit can turn into a disaster really quickly. Looking back that path was the wrong choice but, I learned a lot rich kids can teach you a lot:

1. How to score booze underage.
2. How to make your makeup look REALLY slutty.
3. How to call your limo driver to come get your ass.
4. How to con your parents into a sweet new phone.
5. How to bullshit your homework and teachers.

See the value in these lessons! Needless to say I think I am going to stick to the imperfect life I have now, being a poor college student is fun. Plus then what would you all get to read about if I wasn't a chubby, messy, goofy, poor, college kid!

Lesson #64 - Flaws are the new perfect.

Cue the Light Bulb

Sometimes life sends me in weird directions (pretty much always ass backwards), they always pan out slowly and I think they are funny. Today I got more perspective on this, more than ever before I was so STRONG. I don't normally preach lately I see myself doing it more (I'm working on that by the way). Anyway, strength is a funny thing but I am crediting myself today with the most strength I have ever had.

Paths are funny things, ever since I have been at school this year there has been turmoil on my path. I had thought about changing course multiple times but with things good with A, and SC finally happy I figured life was getting better just slowly and I needed to be patient because as good as it has been there is one person it's not been good with, one last loose end.

M sat across from me at lunch, she was talking about me and blatantly criticizing me (ouch). I was sitting there seething. Frankly I was pissed, wicked pissed. The old Meg would have jumped on the opportunity to bitch her out and cause a scene similar to something from Mean Girls (bus and all). But I looked across my table instead and I saw SR+CC then I looked to my left and Ti was there with me, I realized something so huge.

Cue the light bulb, seriously bear with me.

M was spending her lunch worrying about me, and my world. She was so fixated on me that she almost pulled me in to her misery AGAIN. But me? I was spending lunch with my friends and girlfriend. I am happy, there is nothing in my life to worry about for the first time in a long time my life was calm, I am at peace. So why ruin it.

By George I got it, this 21 year old just had the epiphany of the century.

So instead of screaming and yelling, instead of causing a scene, instead of more drama, I ate my pizza (it was good)! Applause for me. Because today I had the strength to move past the hurdles someone constructed. I am unfazed finally. Watch out dark drama filled underworld. This chubbie chick is coming out and NEVER going back.

Lesson #62 - Worry about you.

The Brain and The Spine: My Dilemma

Okay so I am faced with another eternal battle, one that is bothering me to the point of dizziness. I'm bringing it to my blog, maybe writing about it can help me clear my head.

The Dilemma: A is back, now if you are new to my blog I will refer you to the many posts in the past few months concerning her, if you're to lazy to look them long story short she was my best friend, our relationship was one of a brain and a spine without one the other didn't work. She left me high and dry one night, I was blind sided and frankly I know that the endless ramblings of a victim are boring and whinny however I am in this case; the victim. Ending this story before I get emotional within two weeks we weren't speaking I don't to this day know what happened, maybe because I was continuously blown off by her after the fact. The skinny is I am bitter, angry, in need of closure, and really overly emotional about the whole thing. 

A is the only person who has really ever truly broken my heart close to the point of no return but, I have survived so far.

The Cause of my Dismay: This morning I had a three hour delay at my school, meaning my only class was canceled. After getting up, having coffee, and something to eat, I worked on my math homework and received the following text COMPLETELY unexpectedly:

"Hey there! We should get together this week sometime to chat about life!?"

I have yet to respond I feel like I need to be careful and think through my response first, Impulsive Meghan had some nasty yet very honest comments. I'll keep those to myself for now.

My Thought Process: Oh A you know me better than my own mother and father, when you broke my heart and our friendship you caused permanent damage. My life is calming down, I am happy is that why you chose to come back now? I heard about the military, that's nice. So you decided to text me huh? I wonder if I agree to see you if I'll get blown off by you, like before. Maybe you think this is funny, the way you can chose when you want to puppeteer my life. I see right through you, I hope you know to this day I can tell what you're thinking when I see you, I can read between the lines of your blog and text messages. 

So what should I respond to you, frankly I would like to say FUCK YOU but as much as I want to, it won't make me feel better and you probably could give two shits. Then I was also thinking about just asking you if karma kicked in yet, if not it will, just wait. No matter what though, I love you. At one point you were the only stable friendship I ever had. Looking back you might still be. I do wonder if all this stems back to us never fighting. Yeah, I am that person who still lays in bed at night and wonders what the hell happened.

I need closure, I want to feel better. You want, well what the hell do you want from me. I don't know if  I could ever have a healthy friendship with you again, I am (as much as I don't want to admit it) willing to try. How sad right? Poor pathetic Meg wants you back, but will you take me, ha ha once again the ball is in your court. Don't screw me over. I can't take another blow like you delivered before.

Chubbie Chick Lesson #55 - Life is what you make it, the choices you make about life are the details to your story, the titles are the people, and the pictures are the memories.

Confession 50

2010 wasn't the greatest year, it certainly wasn't the worst. Try to remember the fun you had, the relationships that once made you happy, and the people you have loved and lost along side the ones you have made. Looking back I wasn't always positive and I hope I have learned from my mistakes, however no regrets. In 2011 I hope to fulfill a few goals I have set for myself and be everything I have only in the past strived to be.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

How I'm Feeling & What I'm Thinking

I'm not sure where I'm really going with this post I just have some feelings that I need to sort out.

The Future- it's scary place for so many people, to me the future is so comfortable. I have always looked ahead not back, maybe it's because I make a lot of mistakes and just hate reliving them I'm not sure. Lately the future has been like haunting me around ever corner, like grad school and GREs, or what I'm doing this summer, where I want to live. What I have realized is that I am so excited, not in a rush my life away kind of way but in a these new exciting paths look so fun kind of way. Maybe the future and I are just on the same page, or maybe I am just ahead of the game either way I'm excited.

Immaturity- holy cow I could ramble about it for hours and hours probably because most of the people in my life are more than 50% immature or maybe because it just ticks me off. Looking back I should be a senior this year, I am not because of a ski accident that set me back for some time. I wish I was so badly though, people in my class are just young and different. It's not that I think I'm better than anyone or anything like that either, I just look at the world differently. I remember being like 10 hanging out with 12 years olds it always happens like that, why can I not just be smart enough to graduate earlier than early.

Finally and probably the real reason I am upset, stressed, and ugh just feeling blahhhh is that S and I finally exchanged all of our stuff. It was really hard, she was so cold and I rightfully deserve it I think that's what sucks. I can't be mad at her, and I deserve everything she dishes out to me. I never meant to hurt her, however I needed to get out and the only way I had was to hurt her. She loved me so much, people tell me I'm a foul maybe I am S would have loved me forever. I wasn't happy though, and I would rather be alone and happy than with someone and unhappy. I haven't really cried either, I mean a tear here and a sigh but other than that no emotion probably because I feel like I don't deserve to be sad I mean I did it. Whatever it's over and the relationship I'm in is healthy and I am happy very happy now I just hope karma doesn't come bite me, she could totally F me over pretty easily.

Okay I am done, I'm going to watch a movie and fix myself. Wish me luck.

Chubbie Chick Lesson # 46 - It's okay not to be scared of the future.

Acceptance

I am accepting your flaws. I am going to let it go. You are not the enemy. I am happy. You are happy. We are not we, and us is no longer an acceptable pronoun. I was angry. I was hurt. I was a lot of things. Now I am done. When I look at you, I want to vomit I am really going to try not to do that anymore. You are you and I am me. My life is valuable to me and I really am only going to get one so from here on out this is my new thought process.

I am me, I know I am a good person. I hold the key to the secrets of 100 humans and I will never let them go. When I am old and gray I won't regret my life, when it flashes before my eyes I am going to laugh and cry at the same time. It's about time I speak up for me, after all I am worth it. College is supposed to be a time to figure oneself out however, I know who I am. Thus, I am ahead of the game and I need to accept that one day people will catch up to me and until then I will do what I always do, figure it out.

Taking life one step at a time is something I preach, but I can be a hypocrite. I am a planner, I want to know the future and what it holds for me. From today forward I am trying something new, or well I am going to try and see what happens. It's going to be hard, but I am strong and more likely than not I can handle it.

So I forgive you. I accept your poor choices it's your life. Most of all one day I will look back on our friendship and be able to laugh like I used to, when that happens I'll be the first to tell you. These are in full my well wishes.

Chubbie Chick Lesson # 44 - I want nothing but the best for you.

A

You are my best friend. However this is my last ditch effort. I can live without you but I don't want to. I know you don't know how I feel, I know you have a new life, and I know you're happy. But I am still here waiting but I am not waiting forever. I love you for your smelliest shit and your most wonderful attributes, how many people can you say that about. The thing is lately you don't need me, that makes me feel lost. I depended on you, I should never have done that. Sometimes I wonder if we will be friends again.. let me tell you how I'm feeling:

My Heart: Is broken. It has told me that no one should make me feel this way. It wants you back in my life. It would admit under gun point that I might need you more than I realize.

My Head: Thinks I am a fool. Second chances come few with this human. It says that you had a shot, and another, and one more, now your done. Most of all it hurts because I have cried rivers over you.

So what to do is the question, realistically this is the question of my life though. Which to follow, what path to chose. I have a tattoo on my body that instructs me to follow my heart but when I do, I get hurt. A beautiful person once told me that if heartbreak wasn't a risk then you're not living I think she might be right. I also know that mentally and internally I might not be able to take another blow like the one she caused.

Bottom line, all I want is to talk to her more specifically for her to want to talk to me.

Chubbie Chick Lesson # 36 - I chose heart.

Realization

Tonight I was out to dinner with my family, and I ran into one of my very close old friends. We said to phrases two each other "hi, how are you" and "it was so good to see you" it was probably one of the most eye opening experiences of my life. She was a stranger, then I looked at my phone June 13th 2010, it was exactly two year ago Friday, June 13th 2008 that I walked out of my high school for the last time as a student, which meant that it was only 2 years ago that me and my long lost friend spent a summer together drinking in the sweet summer, and living by the sun. The next few hours until now I can't get it out of my head, 2 years and what have I done.

There is a lot I can say I have figured out and accomplished these past 2 years. I fell in love with my sole mate, and I grew up quite a lot. I am, deep down incredibly happy and it feels good. High School was rough for me, I had zero self esteem and was pretty much clinically depressed, but I hid it well. Wow, that is the only word that really comes to mind. Two years, it doesn't seem all that long when you say it, but too me it's a while. I think about all those people that I spent thirteen years with, 79 of us and now I might talk to 5 or less, I am having extreme mixed feelings.

So now I am going to stop. No more sad, emotional, and pitiful-ness. On an upbeat note I can see S, this week hopefully :) I am so excited. Well, K and I are going to watch a movie now, I'll post tomorrow!

Chubbie Chick Lesson #22- People from the past can become the people of the future, it will just take so work.