Letting It Roll

Something I have learned in my four mischievous years of college is that sometimes you just gotta roll with the grind, just let it roll. That being said I never said that I was good at it, i'm really not. In fact I pretty much suck at letting things roll off my back. Lately I feel like I have done a really good job though, and like most insecure women I am announcing it inorder to feel the satisfaction I feel like I deserve.

Things have been really good with TSwift and I, leaving out the details we have been working through our problems one at a time and it feels good. Yes for all of you innocent readers I just made a sex analogy. Really though I am feeling confident in everything that is happening in my life and my path seems to be set, like always I am waiting for a bump but until then, well I am just enjoying the ride.

In other life happenings a couple of guys from my past have been lurking in the depths of my text message archives. I enjoy talking to them mainly because they are so clueless, and second because two of them are determined to set me straight literally. One of them, The Boy Next Door is a sweet heart to me at least though I feel bad for his girlfriend because the things he says to me are slightly risque. The other one Blue Eyed Sexy Time or BEST is as always ridiculously asking for a three some and other preverse things he thinks he can pull over because I have a girlfriend.

Newsflash boys just because I have a girl at my disposal does not mean I am about to give her to you too, work for that shit.

Oh and the Dolphins lost again it's really starting to hurt my ego. A is moving this week as well, sad to see her go but more confident in our friendship then ever that she won't be gone for long. Gosh is this Post dragging or what; sorry I have nothing to write about, like I said just letting things roll. To finish up let me show you all some pictures of my newest adventure, I went to NYC!

I took this picture and let me say they were the cutest couple ever.

Beyond My Wildest Dreams

Quick sum up of life this past week; it sucked. My school work began piling up, my ex is a bitch of epic proportion and I lost a few great friends to an arch enemy. All of this being said and more, I ran away this weekend to my home, to my family, to my hidden life in which no one knows my silent suffering from my triumphs. It was a good weekend with a few low lows but I managed to pull myself out and just live, coexist, make that smile appear; because that's what I have always been taught.

Come today I was exhausted, I had a severe case of the Monday bitchy blues and honestly I was miserable to even be around. After class I dragged myself to lunch and saw A, instantly a little more excited we decided to take an adventure; pictures, Starbucks, and a lot of music I was feeling good. We managed to get some food and head back for my night class. To cut a long drawn out story short half way through my class I recieved an email, Confessions had been the chosen editors pick on The Lesbian Lifestyle instant glee, literally. I jumped for joy and a few friends peered over my shoulder to my iPad and noticed what I was looking at they got excited too.

Needless to say I am so excited, completely thrilled, totally emotional, and I did what I do best cried; literally in the middle of my classroom (thank god we were on break). There is truly a lot I would love to say about this feature and what it really means to me instead, I want to thank everyone in my life. The ones who've broken my heart, bullied me, been my friend, supported me, and most importantly the people who have made me who I am today. No seriously, I am thanking all the people who have fucked me over I know what a joke, but it is the truth and frankly I wouldn't be me if it wasn't for them.

All of this has really put life in perspective again, really I was such a grump today and a total bitch. Then all of a sudden again everything changed and I needless to say felt like a total ass for feeling like that. Life is a funny thing and I feel like all the bad luck I have literally found for the past two weeks just got pushed away and all my good karma has checked in FINALLY. To keep this long story just long and not chapters I am going to stop for tonight and celebrate some more, to anyone new who did pop over from TLL thank you for checking me out, come back anytime.

Really everyone thank you so much.

Recent Happenings

Okay a brief catchup I swear, this time I am back for good.

-A returns from the Airforce.
-Spend a weekend in the sun romping around my home town causing trouble.
-Have several serious fights with Firefighter Guy.
-Speak to my mom about Firefighter Guy.
-Get into final fight with DBag and realize he is too much of a bully.
-Enter girl from the past.
-Enter first love.
-Make Decision.
-I chose her, will she chose me.
-Hangout more with A.
-Share recent life decisions with her, earn approval.
-Hope for the best prepare for the worst.
-Get ready for the hardest fall yet.

Now that we are caught up, like I said major things yes. I am not sure how I want to go about sharing them with all of you. Tonight I am thinking of taking it day by day, life is short and I need to live more. I am not sure if the decisions I am making are good ones but hey, at least I am giving this decisive thing a try.

VLOG :)

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My Day's Obsession

And I do mean obsessed.

State of the Chubbie?

Today is my little college's State of the College speech, where all of the faculty and staff gather with some super nosey students to hear what is in our school's future. I left it was a little much to handle, but this is my (I'm a little sad to admit) one hundredth post. I really want to add some things some things to my blog, first and foremost a blog roll my hesitation is this, I don't consistently read a lot of blogs. I am a grazer more or less and kinda knit pick off my Google Feed and what stands out to me. That being said I have several blogs I seem to always go back to.

Besides that I would really like to leave the ground work open to whatever you guys are really into, I will literally take any suggestion you give under serious thought. Also my layout on this blog is something that always drives me nuts, is it organized enough? I am eagerly awaiting any tips!

CCL #66 - Be open to new ideas you might be surprised.

Happy Birthday Confessions!

Today is the day I can not believe it is finally here! My blog is a year old today, I have taken all morning thinking about the things that I have posted in the past and all that this blog has done for my life. So instead of a couple of pictures and silly little lessons I would like to share something very deep and close to my heart with all of my fabulous readers.

The first time I wrote in this blog I thought to myself, I hope maybe one person reads my blog one day and laughs a little or at least thinks I have something nice to say. I have always been fascinated by the impact people have on each other, it's always very different and sometimes very unpredictable. Looking back on that day I would have NEVER imagined I would have 55 followers or the amount of comments that have been coming in. 

This blog has become my one true love, sometimes there are just those things that can make you feel better when your stressed, or offer you an outlet, and just allow you to be somebody. Looking back knowing I have readers, I have become somebody. This blog has shown me who that is, I am beginning to love myself more now than ever before because I am good at it, finally no one can take that away from me.

All of this would not be possible without the frequent readers, occasional commenters, and always interesting passer byers. I am a someone and I promise I write from the heart always, I will never steer this blog in any other way. Writing my thoughts has proven to be some of the best therapy I have ever had as well, I learn something new every time I look into my archives. Not many people can look at something they have created with the same pride I look at my blog with.

So, Happy Birthday Confessions thanks for teaching me the skinny.

Good Morning Tuesday

I am feeling so much better, thank you to everyone for being patient I was really sick! Anyway I woke up this morning and felt so much better, and to top off my good morning I was a little shocked to look and my Google Feed and see my blog title! The lovely ladies at For The Love Of Blogs featured Confessions today :) ! Please everyone, check them out their blog has been nothing but help to me over the past year!




Also today is Ti's birthday she's twenty five unfortunately I'm not with her today between work and my spring break disease it didn't workout. She's getting a drink with one of my best friends tonight, I have mixed emotions about this. I am happy she is hanging out with people enjoying her day, but I am jealous and disappointed that by the time I even found out I couldn't make it out there to be with them. I love Ti and regardless I am happy for her.

Well time to go rest, being up and about the house is exhausting right now. I feel like an old man.

Block Button?

I don't vent often but..
Leaving my blog open publicly was a choice I made with EXTREME caution. Days like today I regret it, but then I remember one thing: my writing. You can take people's ideas, their thought, twist and morph them so you look original but you can't take my writing, you wont ever be able to formulate thoughts like mine. I am original. After this entry I wont care.

I wish I knew then (Summer '09) what I know today, I would have been more okay. But I didn't and hindsight is twenty - twenty. I can finally look back and say, I win. I can look at you and your fake attitude and know you aren't okay and laugh (on the inside).

My blog was supposed to be my diary, the lessons were going to be for my readers but in all honesty they are my biggest learning lessons yet. On June 1st I wrote a lesson - "I am stronger because of the tears. " I am smarter than I think, but I am stronger as well. Without these terrible people who have crossed my path I would not be this strong.

In 2009 if I had a blog I would have bitched said two-faced idiot out but today I just continue on my path. I know karma will come around, I know I am better off. So continue to take my ideas, it just means I am doing something right.

So today I am going to take a moment of silence for these people, and pray for them Karma hurts and I know no one else can pray for them (she is pretty well hated around these parts). After this post I will unblock the block I just placed on you a few minutes ago because I  never want to stoop to your level again.

Lesson # 61 - There is a right way and a wrong way in life, I'm pretty sure I made a good choice that summer.

Blog Lovin' + Some Nifty Renovations!

Follow my blog with bloglovin!

Wow thins blog was certainly getting boring, I went through and cleaned up my html among a few new things. What are your thoughts?

I am now a member of Blog Lovin' check out the Blog Connections Page to see what else I like!

More to come, anyone interested in a blog swap?

Meg :)

Under the Weather

I'm not feeling so hot today, and because I am so compulsive about this blog I changed some things. I think it has to do with all the life changes I'm making- dramatic brunette, make up makeover, new relations, and new attitude. Anyway I really like it, not as boring but still simplistic the color scheme is very winteresque - I have a problem.

True Life: I am addicted to my blog.

Besides that I am becoming more active on the web group I belong too, Twenty-Something Bloggers :) [ 20sb.net ] I really like that I have some more readers and have found some new blogs that I am loving! I'm thinking of starting a must follow list and i'm doing a 30 day challenge! SO MUCH NEWNESS.

I should get some sleep, I need to feel better.

Newish Life, Nicer Look

Greetings from home! That's right I took a hiatus from finals week on the first day (it was needed) so here I am out of New England hiding in the north. No drama, no stress, just family. I'm so excited to come home this little tease session is just what I needed to motivate me to work hard and finish strong. Life is so great right now, this weekend in case you didn't notice was phenomenal, I am so happy with my chosen path. I have had my head in the clouds for the past 2 weeks, I feel like it was yesterday I got back to school from Thanksgiving break when I met back up with her and we negotiated. I am so gross, really it's like I can't wipe this permanent smile off my face.

Anyway this is the new look, I hope you like it. I think it is the perfect combination of decoration without over kill. Things will be tweaked and I am going to add some new pages in as well (the tabs on the top) first will be my 25 recommended melodies which will hopefully change weekly but as always I will let you know :) besides that I am going to try and keep a list of what I am reading as well. I am a book-a-holioc and since winter break is fast approaching I'm sure I will be burning through at least 30. Last Christmas I pounded through 66 but realistically I have a job this winter break. Oh big kid land, I am not a fan. Feel free to give other suggestions!

Chubbie Chick Lesson # 47 - Push through this week, I can do it.

How I'm Feeling & What I'm Thinking

I'm not sure where I'm really going with this post I just have some feelings that I need to sort out.

The Future- it's scary place for so many people, to me the future is so comfortable. I have always looked ahead not back, maybe it's because I make a lot of mistakes and just hate reliving them I'm not sure. Lately the future has been like haunting me around ever corner, like grad school and GREs, or what I'm doing this summer, where I want to live. What I have realized is that I am so excited, not in a rush my life away kind of way but in a these new exciting paths look so fun kind of way. Maybe the future and I are just on the same page, or maybe I am just ahead of the game either way I'm excited.

Immaturity- holy cow I could ramble about it for hours and hours probably because most of the people in my life are more than 50% immature or maybe because it just ticks me off. Looking back I should be a senior this year, I am not because of a ski accident that set me back for some time. I wish I was so badly though, people in my class are just young and different. It's not that I think I'm better than anyone or anything like that either, I just look at the world differently. I remember being like 10 hanging out with 12 years olds it always happens like that, why can I not just be smart enough to graduate earlier than early.

Finally and probably the real reason I am upset, stressed, and ugh just feeling blahhhh is that S and I finally exchanged all of our stuff. It was really hard, she was so cold and I rightfully deserve it I think that's what sucks. I can't be mad at her, and I deserve everything she dishes out to me. I never meant to hurt her, however I needed to get out and the only way I had was to hurt her. She loved me so much, people tell me I'm a foul maybe I am S would have loved me forever. I wasn't happy though, and I would rather be alone and happy than with someone and unhappy. I haven't really cried either, I mean a tear here and a sigh but other than that no emotion probably because I feel like I don't deserve to be sad I mean I did it. Whatever it's over and the relationship I'm in is healthy and I am happy very happy now I just hope karma doesn't come bite me, she could totally F me over pretty easily.

Okay I am done, I'm going to watch a movie and fix myself. Wish me luck.

Chubbie Chick Lesson # 46 - It's okay not to be scared of the future.