Goodbye and Thank You

Well the day has come, this is it. One last post for Confessions, this is the Blog that made me, got me in trouble, helped me out, and taught me a lot. I will miss this place but after months of consideration I finally know the decision I am making is right. I am incredibly sad to let this Blog go and will genuinely never forget all the doors it opened for me.

I want to thank the loyal readers, the faithful commenters, and all the page views that made me feel like I wasn't alone in times of both happiness and sadness. I found great strength in the arms of strangers and because of all of you never felt alone. I am continuing to write and urge any and all of you to visit my newest Blog in which I am writing about my new life, loves, and other silly things.

It was the journey of a lifetime and it doesn't stop here:

For one last time, I love you all.


Risky Business

That awkward moment where you know you're putting your feelings on the line for someone or something you are not entirely sure of. It happens everyday, we face challenges and expectations in which we have to make choices that put happiness at risk. Lately I have found myself taking my chances, and the leaps of faith may be paying off. 

Chaos and I are very much on the same page. I am happy and so is she, no titles or complications just us (don't be quick to throw the friends with benefits label on us either because I assure you it is much more then that). With our lives quickly and so nicely blending together it leaves room for many other relations to fall into place.

I have yet to talk about the newest friends I have made let's call them The Roommates. Two of the most awkward kids you will ever meet they now hold I special bond with me and I cannot express enough the fun we have all been having. The Roommates came to me threw Chaos and I have never been so grateful. 

To put it way to nicely a relationship that has been on the back burner for far too long is also beginning to heat up. I'm not sure if anything will come of this new found forgiveness but nonetheless I am starting to feel like I will leave The Twilight Zone on exactly the right note.

Put yourselves out there, the risk is worth it,


I Promise I'm Worthy

I woud call this a love letter but I'm not that modest, this is me telling how I'm feeling deep down in the depths of my soul without holding back, for the world to see.

You have been hurt, so have I. Life is such a rocky road, a bumpy ride, the hardest thing you will ever face, and you shouldn't have to go it alone. This isn't the irrational promise most make at the beginning of a love story destined to fail, this is an assurance; I may not always be around, life happens, mistake are made, people grow apart but, while I'm here why not take on these hardships together. The hardest thing about letting yourself move into the comfortable state in which you give a piece of yourself to someone else is knowing you can get hurt. I get it, I have been there, I have been hurt and, I have hurt others. No one is perfect, certainly not me.

I know I'm asking a lot, putting your emotions on the line but what if we do it together. There is something to be said about the unknown and why not take a chance. I'm sick of planning my future, I'm young and so are you I think we can do this, I think no matter what happens we can do this. No titles, no rules, no projected outcome, just feelings, emotions, and fun. I can make you happy, I can give you something most can't.

When I look at you I see something totally different then ever before, you aren't anything I have ever called a type, when I look in your eyes I don't know what your thinking. The mystery of my attraction to you really isn't as much of a mystery as most people think. You are sincere, kind, caring, loving, and thoughtful. You are everything I hope to be, and strive to be. Your strength amazes me, and the power behind your words is so incredibly validating. I could go on for hours about the things I love about you, lets end on this note, I love everything that you are and everything you are not.

Wondering about the future no longer,


The Life I Live

I couldn't tell you if I am coming or going most days, it's the way I chose how to live and frankly I like it that way. Don't get me wrong I am a born planner but for some reason when it come to the big picture I like not knowing. Chaos and I are becoming incredibly close and I am getting comfortable not sure how I am feeling about that but I guess I will figure it as I go, I tend to do things the wrong way most days anyway.

I can feel peoples harsh glances on my back but honestly the realization of who I am and what I deserve is more real then ever and I am happy. There was a major motion forward in my life this morning I am not going to talk about it but the closure felt nice paired by a familiar voice that accompanied it. Honestly I don't know if I am getting older or becoming more mature either way I like it and I'm not missing the old mistakes.

I see the girls on campus and I wonder if I am better off and frankly I know I am now. I might doubt myself as we exchange glance across the dining commons but we all know that it isn't worth it, one day you will come back because she is frankly are the come princess and I will tell her that straight on. Overal life is calm, the Super Bowl is Sunday and I am going to enjoy my family this weekend but not until I rondevu with Chaos tonight.

Go Giants,


My Weekend

Truth or dare an age old game that we play as children and always ended in some kid crying is turning into my 22 year old life, just like in the game with every turn we get one choice truth or dare.

This weekend I chose dare, I partied to hard and ended up relearning my limits like I was a teenager this was probably the dumbest choice ever.

With Sunday I chose dare again this time it wasn't my alcohol tolerance that was challenged it seemed to be everything else though. Imagine one incredibly hungover Meg enjoying an egg in the dining commons with a few friends when, I received that gut wrenching jab in the stomach as I heard a familiar voice, the voice of a girl who still spun my world out of control. In walk Ti with friends oh and her girlfriend I'm going to refer to her as Old Lady because God only knows how old she must be. There they were, a more satisfied yet different Ti who didn't look so good and Old Lady all happy go lucky in front of me, two seconds flat and I was up and out of there instantly sober until I hit the doors that is. The waterfall of tears that was next genuinely burned everything they touched as I realized once again she broke my heart. Leaving campus was my only option and with a car full of friends we cruised into the morning blaring music and singing out the hatred. As we returned to campus I saw them again Ti was laughing, ouch. End of story. That dare was almost too much.

Monday rolled in and this time I chose dare again apparently I hadn't had my fill, in walks this new kid all broken and chaotic, we have been friends for what seems like always yet something is changing in our relationship. Let's call her Chaos. Chaos and I spent most of our day together with others as we relaxed and made the motions of a normal Monday, late in the afternoon I realized something largely concerning Chaos was making me smile, her presence lifts me up, and I was looking at her too much. I dared myself to confront these feelings for the rest of that night and by 2:30am I was vastly concerned as to what could potentially happen next. Six steps running in the other direction leads us to Tuesday.

Wake up and feeling like total shit I realize I don't have the energy to take a dare today, in fact truth seemed long over due. This leads me to a sentimental conversation with Soul Sister and Best Friend separately where I realize I have no idea what I am going to do.

Like I said some kid always ends up crying playing truth and dare,


Hopelessly Screwed

It's the familiar twitter, call it my pitter, the patter of my heart, the skip the gives me more then an once of hope, the beat that makes me feel alive again. Let's not call it a crush because those are so overrated but, it's something. The feeling is starting and while I can't put my figure on it totally I know for sure it's there. Would it be bad to admit I'm not at all sure what I'm doing, is it worst that these relations are anything but casual. Don't get me wrong I love the attention but with attention comes questions, with questions come memories, memories that can still sour my stomach as much as they can break my heart.

Truth is you got my heart on a silver plater with your kind words, I promised myself it would be causual but here we go I am falling for your quirks, and am infauated with your flaws. This is a dangerous spot to be in and neither of us are ready, oh did I mention there is more then one of you. Yes it's true girl, girl, guy haha in true Meg fashion I got myself into the classic spot where the flirting takes me afloat, destination cloud 9 and I spend more time giggling at the quirks of others that I forget where I am.

So about those insecurities, I want to be as cold hearted as TSwift calls me I honestly do. I wish I could just not feel for a few days, maybe I would get over these flutters. Better yet maybe I could finally feel okay about the flutters, maybe I won't be so scared of the word crush and the theory of love. So many have told me that I need to take time for me, fix all the broke but, let's be honest I learn by doing and I love the messes I make as much as I love the spirals I fall into. I must being doing something right because frankly, I can't stop smiling.

Hopelessly Screwed,


Soul Sister

To The Girl Who Watched it all Happen:

You are my Soul Sister, you understand me one no one else does and, you let me totally fuck my life up because you know in the end I have to hit rock bottom to listen to you. Thank you for sitting on the side line and watching me chose the wrong person to love last year, thank you for telling me I deserve better even when I didn't want to listen, most of all thank you for letting me not listen to you.

This summer was hard for me and you always seemed to answer when I called, even if I couldn't answer for you. Thank you for listening to me melt down about Firefighter guy being a total creep and not slapping me silly when I went after TSwift. Most of all thank you for TSwift's new nickname and threatening my life if I ever went back to her, I needed the ultimatum.

When I got back this semester and I made the wrong friends and trusted the wrong girl thank you for supporting me anyway. You were right and honestly I learn more by getting fucked over then if I hadn't. Thank you for supporting all of my bad habits for that matter and encouraging me to find myself rather then fall into the same pattern of instable, unhealthy relationships. Thank you so much.

On the sentimental side you have no idea how much it all means to me, knowing all I know now life is short friends like you come few and far between. Without turning this into a Hallmark card cheers to us, fucking our lives up and rebuilding them together one asshole and bitch at a time. I love you girl.

You're Soul Sister,