The Dilemma: A is back, now if you are new to my blog I will refer you to the many posts in the past few months concerning her, if you're to lazy to look them long story short she was my best friend, our relationship was one of a brain and a spine without one the other didn't work. She left me high and dry one night, I was blind sided and frankly I know that the endless ramblings of a victim are boring and whinny however I am in this case; the victim. Ending this story before I get emotional within two weeks we weren't speaking I don't to this day know what happened, maybe because I was continuously blown off by her after the fact. The skinny is I am bitter, angry, in need of closure, and really overly emotional about the whole thing.
A is the only person who has really ever truly broken my heart close to the point of no return but, I have survived so far.
The Cause of my Dismay: This morning I had a three hour delay at my school, meaning my only class was canceled. After getting up, having coffee, and something to eat, I worked on my math homework and received the following text COMPLETELY unexpectedly:
"Hey there! We should get together this week sometime to chat about life!?"
I have yet to respond I feel like I need to be careful and think through my response first, Impulsive Meghan had some nasty yet very honest comments. I'll keep those to myself for now.
My Thought Process: Oh A you know me better than my own mother and father, when you broke my heart and our friendship you caused permanent damage. My life is calming down, I am happy is that why you chose to come back now? I heard about the military, that's nice. So you decided to text me huh? I wonder if I agree to see you if I'll get blown off by you, like before. Maybe you think this is funny, the way you can chose when you want to puppeteer my life. I see right through you, I hope you know to this day I can tell what you're thinking when I see you, I can read between the lines of your blog and text messages.
So what should I respond to you, frankly I would like to say FUCK YOU but as much as I want to, it won't make me feel better and you probably could give two shits. Then I was also thinking about just asking you if karma kicked in yet, if not it will, just wait. No matter what though, I love you. At one point you were the only stable friendship I ever had. Looking back you might still be. I do wonder if all this stems back to us never fighting. Yeah, I am that person who still lays in bed at night and wonders what the hell happened.
I need closure, I want to feel better. You want, well what the hell do you want from me. I don't know if I could ever have a healthy friendship with you again, I am (as much as I don't want to admit it) willing to try. How sad right? Poor pathetic Meg wants you back, but will you take me, ha ha once again the ball is in your court. Don't screw me over. I can't take another blow like you delivered before.
Chubbie Chick Lesson #55 - Life is what you make it, the choices you make about life are the details to your story, the titles are the people, and the pictures are the memories.
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