Everyone will be posting tomorrow the wonderful things they have to say about their dads, husbands, baby daddies, and pimps but I unfortunately will not. It would probably come no surprise to all of you that I have daddy issues through my hidden messages, between the lines commentary, and sarcastic snide remarks you probably understand my dad does not deserve father of the year.
My dad is my match, he is a one of a kind kinda man whom it appears I was cloned from. Dad and I had a relationship the would beat even the strongest of competitive bonds. Alas, all good things must come to an end and like you probably for saw my dad fucked up and show his true imperfections when I was at the ripe age of nine. Dad made a series of bad choices those years the can be summed up in less than five words: cheated, beated, fucking retreated. That's right after being caught by my not always perfect mother cheating on her daddy dearest lost his temper a couple of times that lead to restraining orders and really confusing nights. Honestly most of my memories I no longer can recall the doctor says it's repression I call it self preservation, daddy did finally get his shit together but it was a few short years later he screwed it up again.
Dad decided to marry the bitch he cheated on my mother with; she was a young, hot, brunette who apparently had a thing for a fat balding man. Couple of years go by Bitch gets dad all to herself by verbal abuse and finally pushes me to my breaking point. In a heart wrenching moment I cut my ties with my clone and that was that. Until he should back up, claiming a bitchy PMS daughter (me) made her do it, he keeps defending his blushing bride. My dad and I have been rocky ever since, are we close this week; sure. Will we be next week; no clue.
Dad tries to get his shit together I know he does, I know I could have it way worst but none the less it could be better too. Tomorrow I will go fishing with him like he has asked, I know my father wants me around and I am trying to want it too. One day I might tell you more, until then- treasure what you have, learn from what you don't, pray for only what you need.
Happy Father's Day Pops-
Hi Hon,
ReplyDeleteI found this today and felt I needed to comment. I understand things are tricky for you and the past is unclear and likely jaded by the stories you've been told.
I never, ever, ever cheated on your Mom. It's simply not true. I loved her and she pushed me out. She wanted to be with him. I could give you reasons but there is no need. Someday you'll be able to figure it all out. I am the honest guy that I have always portrayed to you and I am incapable of cheating.
The "beating" reference is completely worng as well. We had an argument and she was trying to go away for the weekend and leave me home with you guys so she could run away. I'm pretty sure this is the same moment or argument. There were many and i promise you I did everything humanly possible to keep our relationship intact. She pissed me off that day and I went upstairs and pounched a fist sized hole in the wall. That was it. I've never hit anyone. I'm not capable. I think you know that in your heart. The restraining order was real. It was the biggest piece of crap lie ever.
She left me. I never cheated. I never hit. She wanted me out. I didn't deserve it. Just ask anyone in the family honey. Ask your Grandpa. I remember talking to both of them and telling what was happening.
Enuff said. This isn't the best place to say my peace but i never knew the way you felt. No matter what I'm sorry it turned out like this and yes I love having you around....
ummm helllo come back please
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