Without my best friend skies have been pretty grey lately, A calls weekly from bootcamp she loves it and sounds really good. Last night was my breaking point, I miss our daily motions through life if that makes sense. Having someone at your disposal daily is really refreshing and when that is taken it really sucks. I am becoming more depressed these days, working out gets me through some days others I just keep pushing through because that is what A would want. Having her back in a few weeks at least by phone will be so nice. I don't know why I broke down so badly last night, I am lonely and frankly it hurts more to know other then A everyone is here.
A dear friend told me yesterday that I am only as alone as I make myself, that's about half true. The way I see it I have two "lifers" in this world right now A who is in Texas and SC who has so many things going on, I feel guilty dumping my life on her shoulders.
My relationship with Ti is anything but stable these days, between work and school she is running out of steam quick, I want to help her but there is nothing I can do, not only is it frustrating but it stresses me out so much I can't sleep. Watching her life spiral out of control reminds me of the ever so familiar decent I took only 8 months ago. I feel myself loosing control slowly as well, I know I am being effed over by a certain someone, let's just save that for another day.
Life is tough, I own a helmet but I am in the market for a full body suit.
This is pretty much the story of my life right now haha. I've reached a point where all my friends are either moving away or in relationships/demanding jobs so i'm finding myself with less & less people around me. Which i find hard because i regard myself as such a people person.
ReplyDeleteI was on the phone to one of my 'lifers' last night moaning about it & saying how hard it is. It's almost like i'm stuck in a rut & i'm only 23! I can see the truth in you are only as alone as you make yourself...but you are so right in saying thats only half true.
I love the truth behind your writing.
I quoted 'Life is tough, I own a helmet but I am in the market for a full body suit' for my blog...but i linked you up. Hope you dont mind!
ReplyDeleteListen, I have a lot going on, but who are we kidding I ALWAYS have a lot going on but what you should remember meg is that hearing about your life makes me feel BETTER. Realizing I'm not the only one getting a shitty hand from time to time! I feel like all I ever do is need you and I can't ever be there to return the favor. Girl you have picked me up so many times, give me the chance to return the favor. I promise I won't let you down.
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