Burnt Bridges

Looking back at my four years at school this morning it hit me, mid tradition, mid song, mid speeches; like a cold hard glacier taking the Titanic. No exceptions, no excuses, no reason good enough I built'em and, I broke them. Fast, slow, drawn out, or quicker then the blink of an eye. There I stood a hundred people around me and there I was screaming internally but completely visible in my face; white as a sheet, scared to death. Three years of damage one year to fix it. What have I done, where do I begin.

It seemed so innocent at first you know, freshman year I am a new person fighting my battles for myself no help from mommy yeah, "I can do this". Sophmore year rolled around and I was "grown" no longer a freshman I was stronger then everyone, better then them because I was me. Junior year destruction, complete demise, total mushroom cloud nothing left. End of junior year I began rebuilding, trying at least. Today; the beginning of senior year, first fucking day and holy shit two semesters, about six months, who first what do I do.

My feelings on the whole subject; no clue. What to do, when to start and how bad is this going to hurt. I don't really care about myself being hurt I am strong, that is one thing I know but these situations are bandaid ripping bad. Opening others old wounds is never easy. There is one; one person whom I need to start with. I know it is hard and yes it's going to hurt. I don't know what I am doing to be honest, and I don't know where to start, hell I don't know where this will finish. All in, balls to the walls, no looking back; I guess so. Time to make a phone call.