Yeah I fucked you over, I am well aware of everything I did to you. I ran you over with my emotional instability however, in my own defense I warned you. Let me explain.
There was this girl, I knew her sister.
She walked in on my class meeting.
Our eyes met, I knew.
She tried to talk to me.
Her sister fucked us over.
I reached out months later.
Some flirting.
A couple of kisses.
A whole lot of cute gestures.
I choose a different freshman.
She forgives.
Doesn't forget.
Drunken night.
Disastrous fight (my fault).
I told her I wasn't ready.
She stuck around.
I hurt her really bad.
No talking.
One night of a lot of drunken texts.
Blame laid.
I told her she knew she had it coming.
Months later we talk.
Things calm.
She still puts up with me.
I still text her.
She gives me chances.
I don't deserve them.
Finally we arrive.
April 26th 2011.
Timing sucks.
What the fuck?
She writes about me on her blog.
I finally tell the truth.
Lines get crossed everyday. Why do I text her, I don't know. Does she not know me still, or are all these second chances worth something more. So many mind games. Are there ever going to answers. Should we be talking. I hurt her bad. She pisses me off. We are completely opposite. Oh and I have a girlfriend. Where does this vicious cycle ever end? Will she ever get the diaster I am everyday. Who do I pick, why should I have to pick. Ti picks me, I love her. This girl doesn't know. Frankly I don't know if I can be friends.
Trying hard.
You know what, there will always be someone in your life that can & will cause unnecessary drama. At the time you don’t really understand it but when you break the circle you wonder what the point was in the first place.
ReplyDeleteWhen i was at university i had someone/something that sounds pretty similar to this & i look back at it now & realise just how stupid it was. You've got to ask yourself is it worth it?
I get it, and I think my biggest fear is that there is so much hurt and frustration I don't see a clear line between what and who is worth it and who's not. My indecisiveness is disgusting sometimes.
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