I don't know what I am doing with my life this summer honestly. The last few days I have done my best to keep my emotions flowing constantly through my mind and trying to make a conscious effort to evaluate my thoughts as they stream. It didn't work. I am finding myself lost in the idea of my new found happiness. Fire Fighter Guy and I have not seen each other but we have talked nonstop, I really feel myself letting go of all those insecurities I found when Ti broke my life apart with her iron mallet (no we have not spoke). Then again maybe I am just patching this gaping hole.
So could it be? Am I really letting go? Who knows- I am honestly scarred that at the end of the day I really don't think any sort of straight relationship is going to work for me but, right now I can't have an in depth, emotionally tolling relationship. Ti broke me and as she has chosen to run and hide (literally) I have to do this on my own. I don't know if I am making the right decisions honestly, A and I talked a lot about it the other night and she told me to be happy so I am am. Fire Fighter Guy makes me happy, end of discussion. Or is this all just the beginning. Time will tell.
I think you should approach any kind of relationship with causation after what you've been through. I'm not saying it's wrong, but make sure you take some time to think about reasons behind the feelings.
ReplyDeleteI jumped straight from one relationship into another one a couple of years ago & it was great, it wasn't a rebound & in no way was i using that person to get over the relationship that ended (similarly to yours) so i agree you just need to do what makes you feel happy right now.
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ReplyDeleteokay so I am going to share with you what my $20 copay has taught me. STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF! You need to LET YOURSELF FEEL GOOD! Okay so maybe he is not Mr. Right but right now you need as many people in your life as possible and that is OKAY! That doesnt make you a bad person or a player, or any of that it means that right now surrounding yourself with positive people and people that make you feel good is important! So what, relax and allow yourself to just have a good time. Do not jump into another relationship because you are afraid to be alone- and TRUST ME I know that feeling and understand that temptation but you do not have to choose right now, you don't enjoy seeing different people and take the pressure out of the situation by telling yourself and reminding yourself that you deserve this- you deserve to have someone spoil you for a little bit and that is nothing to feel guilty about. You are not being sneaky or deceptive. Just have some fun for a bit. Do not share too much with people around you or take to much of what they have to say to heart. People will be judgemental because they are not in a position to do what you are doing but just keep talking to yourself Meg and remember that nothing has to be figured out right now. Just take some time to really think about what you want. You are changing, you are going through some big life experiences and what you are looking for in a potential mate is changing :) You are learning about the things you want in a potential partner, give yourself some time to really evaluate that.
ReplyDelete<3
The best thing someone ever told me is to never let anyone have control of your emotions.
ReplyDeleteWhat the h*ll does that mean!?
Some people are just assholes. They will always be assholes.
Don't let them control your thoughts and emotions every waking and non-waking second...you'll just continue to be miserable.
Go out and find the little things in life that used to make you happy, and let them make you happy again...my eye-opening moment...a butterfly landing on me, allowing me to admire her beautiful colors and patterns on her wings...and then fluttered away...so freely...