Decisions About Love

I am a hopeless romantic, there is no doubt about it. However in the past lets say... 11 years of my dating life I have learned some things about myself and others, these things also came with a price... parts of my heart. I am not bitter towards the people who have broken my heart, but at one point or another it hurt. In the past month I have found myself in the ever so familiar predicament "do I put myself out there again" and "am I ready to handle all of this" at first I was scared, very scared but then someone popped in my life so unexpectedly and reminded me why putting myself out there is worth it.

Earlier this week S stepped back in my life late at night. She was looking for some answers and I think it was the final piece of closure I needed. S reminded me of the person I was September 2009, overly adventurous and slightly reckless I jumped into a relationship with a woman. As most of you know it was my first and all I really remember was the feeling of spontaneity that came with giving my heart to someone. It wasn't easy and I don't expect it to be this time around but, I want to try. I want the chance to love someone the way I live, so passionately. I have a chance and the way I see it I'm lucky to have her and I might get lucky again with love.

What this means is I am going to let myself fall in lust and like, and when love wants to take over I'm not going to fight it. I'm letting the walls down and if I get hurt I won't regret it. So while my heart has been torn apart, shattered, glued, and taped back together so many times I'm going to try and whatever happens, happens. Life is too short to give yourself to people who don't want you, so I've worked hard to take my heart back these past few months and now I'm going to try something different. Wish me luck.

Chubbie Chick Lesson #51- Here's my heart, it's not pretty or new but it's full of love and passion and I want you to have it.