More than Melody

"Music is a total constant. That's why we have such a strong visceral connection to it, you know? Because a song can take you back instantly to a moment, or a place, or even a person. No matter what else has changed in your or the world, that one song says the same, just like that moment."   

Just Listen - Sarah Dessen

Music to me is more than a melody, it's more than just some words rhymed together to make a lyrical flow. Music is the only constant in my life, the one stable relationship I haven't screw up. People can hurt you, and you can hurt people but music is safe. My relationship with music is something that is not easily explainable, it's complicated but more over it's intense. Music makes me realize things that otherwise probably would go unseen. For everything that has ever happened to me there is a song or a melody to make me understand, feel better, and eventually live. Songs define my existence, for every moment there is a song.

When I was a child I will never forget my first interactions with music I have my father to thank for that. You see my father is the man you see in his car drumming on his steering wheel, not really dancing or being a fool but simply enjoying a beat. I will not forget him saying "shh Meg just listen to these words, you are going to love it" and I did. He would tell me to try writing down the lyrics as I hear them, if I did I would remember the song better and it would help me understand them, I did as he told me and he was right.

When it came to the point where my parents divorced I ran to music, I was in fifth grade and I fixed myself inside and out sitting on my swing set with my enormous headphones attached to a Walkman player. When it was time to be angry my music would become louder, when it was time to cry it would lower the volume. I never had to suffer in silence, my music never left me alone. It protected me from the yelling and crying and saved me from anyone ever asking me if I was okay. Music still to this day makes me feel invisible, like the scene in Big Daddy.. when my head phones are on no one can see me, I am safe and sound.

It was on the rides to my dad's apartment every Tuesday and Thursday that he would put on the radio and we would survey the newest hits. I still remember the day Follow Me came on, you know the song by Uncle Kracker about basically about cheating yes that the one. My father looked at me and said you are going to love this one I guarantee it, I looked him with disgust I hated it or so I thought. Three weeks later I was on stage at my school talent show belting the words into the mic like I was Janet Jackson and I won first place, that song to this day still makes me smile.  Another memory, remember the song by Destiny's Child, Say My Name? I was again in my dad's car when it first came on, riding to his apartment on a warm summer afternoon. To this day I can still feel the sunshine on my arms and the wind in my hair when I hear it. What a feeling.

I love music and music loves me back. I will forever hold my iTunes library on the highest pedestal nothing compares. My life's ups and downs are compiled there, some people wonder why I am so scattered as far genres go, and they will never understand it's the stages of my life all complied into one place. Music is so much to me, I could write forever but until next time, just listen.

Chubbie Chick Lesson # 45 - Music is the cure all.