Closure

I am the greatest liar to myself. I keep saying "everything is fine" but everything is not fine, I finally have realized that being single is really a trigger of mine that and the opening of old wounds, I am far from fine.

Ti's back for about a week, returning my camera hopefully and with the mini conversations we've had, I'm hurting worst then when I was surrounded by the unknown. I really thought this would be my closure it's turning into the opposite.

Before I move further into this blog. I must caution that this post is going to cause some lash back in my own life. I am doing something I swore I would never do, I am using the Internet to express my otherwise unsaid thoughts, it may turn into a weapon. But I need to end my silent suffering. I need to tell the truth.

I'm not at all over Ti, I love her frankly, I never stopped. She is with someone new she is happy. I remember when we were happy. I read something she wrote about me last night, about how much she cared for me. It hurts it hurts more then ever. I shouldn't have texted back, I shouldn't have done that to myself.

Kay doesn't even know how I'm feeling. I'm so scared and a total hypocrite. I don't want to get hurt again. I don't want to feel this way. Twenty steps forward and thirty steps back, it's May again and I just want to tell her. Instead I cower behind this Blog. I'm so sorry for this depressive slur, I just needed to get it out. No going back.


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