A Whole New World

Life has been so crazy. I have written for Confessions over the past few months only a few times and of those times only a few have been published. To start a lot has happened, different from previous times however I will not talk about it. I am moving forward because there is no turning back. I made mistakes, I don't apologize.

That being said let us speak of the New Year, like everyone else on the Blogsphere I brought in the New Year in a classy way that was a little bumpy for a bit but somehow made it right back to where it should have been; single. This time around it isn't a bad thing, and with impressive rumors of my whorish lifestyle I am sad to report most of all the accusations are false.

When the clock hit midnight there was no magical kiss, no I love you forevers, I did not get laid, and I unfortunately was hardly buzzed. I was standing under an amazing display of fireworks, with people who truly care for me in a way that I have not seen in a very long while, and with hundreds of strangers around me I finally saw something I had missed all my previous New Years before.

I was okay being alone, I was happy with my single glass of champagne, and when my phone rang at 12:02 and it was my mom I was more then satisfied everything was perfect. I can't tell you it was an epiphany because I think I have known it for years, I just wasn't ready to accept it. I'm not afraid of being alone, I'm not afraid of the unknown, and it's okay. Are there people reading this thinking that I am overly redundant, probably. But let me assure them if this realization has hit you, then you know exactly what I am talking about.

Leaving out the rest of the details until I can share photos with you all, I should move on to my non-New Year Resolution; I pledge to fully accept the cards I have been dealt and to welcome with open arms my new slightly flawed life plan. I hope you can all hear this pouring out of my soul with fluent sincerity because I have written this post so many different ways but tonight after yet another amazingly challenging day it finally feels real.

I ask everyone of you to give me a chance, I think there are going to be some major changes coming my way, and towards Confessions. I have changed things up before but never like what I am planning. In all honestly I had a farwell post written and saved, I was that close to giving it all up when I remembered something very important.

"Without past mistakes there is no new lessons to be made in the future."

Goodnight,
M.