1.31.2012

My Weekend

Truth or dare an age old game that we play as children and always ended in some kid crying is turning into my 22 year old life, just like in the game with every turn we get one choice truth or dare.

This weekend I chose dare, I partied to hard and ended up relearning my limits like I was a teenager this was probably the dumbest choice ever.

With Sunday I chose dare again this time it wasn't my alcohol tolerance that was challenged it seemed to be everything else though. Imagine one incredibly hungover Meg enjoying an egg in the dining commons with a few friends when, I received that gut wrenching jab in the stomach as I heard a familiar voice, the voice of a girl who still spun my world out of control. In walk Ti with friends oh and her girlfriend I'm going to refer to her as Old Lady because God only knows how old she must be. There they were, a more satisfied yet different Ti who didn't look so good and Old Lady all happy go lucky in front of me, two seconds flat and I was up and out of there instantly sober until I hit the doors that is. The waterfall of tears that was next genuinely burned everything they touched as I realized once again she broke my heart. Leaving campus was my only option and with a car full of friends we cruised into the morning blaring music and singing out the hatred. As we returned to campus I saw them again Ti was laughing, ouch. End of story. That dare was almost too much.

Monday rolled in and this time I chose dare again apparently I hadn't had my fill, in walks this new kid all broken and chaotic, we have been friends for what seems like always yet something is changing in our relationship. Let's call her Chaos. Chaos and I spent most of our day together with others as we relaxed and made the motions of a normal Monday, late in the afternoon I realized something largely concerning Chaos was making me smile, her presence lifts me up, and I was looking at her too much. I dared myself to confront these feelings for the rest of that night and by 2:30am I was vastly concerned as to what could potentially happen next. Six steps running in the other direction leads us to Tuesday.

Wake up and feeling like total shit I realize I don't have the energy to take a dare today, in fact truth seemed long over due. This leads me to a sentimental conversation with Soul Sister and Best Friend separately where I realize I have no idea what I am going to do.

Like I said some kid always ends up crying playing truth and dare,
M.

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