Vulnerability. I have never been good at coming to terms with my emotions certainly not ones in which I feel dependant. I have been in all sorts of relationships really but never before have I been involved with someone who I want to be my equal, someone I want to be able to depend on, and someone I can support too. TSwift and I are coming to a crossroad, I can feel it. The threshold we are approaching is the decision of what we are going to be, while it has been determined what we are I am more distinctly talking about the type of relationship we will have. I know I am being stupid and, these emotions I am feeling are ridiculous but none the less here they are.
A shower time meltdown caused me to re-evaluate everything I have already created with the girl I care so much about. What I have conquered is that either I am way to clingy or super over emotional. Basically it comes down to the following.
I have big emotions for this girl
She drives me crazy.
I want more than I can have.
I am super scared.
She makes me so happy.
I make her happy, right?
Why is this so hard?
Where are my running shoes; I'm out!
Not this time, I have to stay.
Staying means believing.
Staying means praying.
Staying means this is it.
This sounds like me, esp the last bit.
ReplyDeleteI read this last night but didn't comment because my mind was blank. This sounds a lot like me too. I could see why you would've been evaluated now. A lot of this is similar to what I deal with.
ReplyDeleteI really hate these emotions, they are so incredibly scary sometimes. What makes this time so scary too is the I actually want to stay. Thanks girls :)
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